When Bad Photography Happens To Beautiful Brides {&Grooms}

This first lesson we'll start off this series with is about the extreme importance of hiring a Q-U-A-L-I-T-Y photographer for your wedding day.

Firstly, I will preface this post with the following: I totally get that budget plays a large part in choosing your wedding day vendors BUT there are some amazing photographers out there who are very talented that aren't charging 5 figures for a wedding photography package.

One of our first weddings of the 2010 season had a gorgeous bride and a handsome groom. They were also the nicest people on the planet. Their big day was filled with so much love and family, it was hard not to cry during the ceremony! Their reception was pretty cool as well - the band literally had guests rocking the dance floor the entire night ... to the point were guests didn't want to sit down for their food. It was that awesome of a reception.

But, like everyone getting married - my couple had a budget that they were working within. So, on the recommendation of a family friend, they hired a Wedding Photographer. While this person was extremely nice and carried a fancy camera, a quality photographer he was not. He continuously was absent for major image worthy moments. He also came without an assistant, and used myself and my assistant throughout the day and evening to carry his equipment, help set up shots and generally be his assistant. Not the wedding planner's role at all. And just about every shot he took was completely generic. Nothing creative, nothing exciting and nothing that wasn't just basic.

Obviously everyone's tastes are different but you want incredible images to remember your day. Not mediocre images that you hide when guests come over. There's too much talent out there to use someone who hasn't picked up any tricks of the trade since 1950. You want to hire photographers that create images that literally make your heart stop. Not images that look like they should be on some blog that makes fun of images.

After all is said and done on your wedding day - literally all you will have to savor the memories of one of the biggest days of your life is your photographs and your video {if you are getting a videographer}. Wouldn't you rather spend a bit more on fabulous photography?

The Importance of a Wedding Day Timeline

The wedding day is getting closer and closer! There are three key elements that you should be focusing on at this point:

1) Finalizing the wedding weekend timeline + confirming vendor commitments
2) Finalizing all wedding day details
3) Relaxing and pampering yourself

Creating a timeline is the most important aspect to ensuring a seamless wedding day! You'll want to make sure it includes all your vendor arrival and departure times, the actual wedding day events {including ceremony, toasts, dances, extras!} and any other information that is pertinent to your vendors {special load in / load out instructions, meals requirements, contact person information etc}. You want to have your timeline finalized before the final week before the wedding, so that you can send it out to them that week. Check out our past post about Timelines that goes into much greater detail!

Once your timeline is set, begin to finalize all the day of details: having your escort cards / place cards finished, welcome bags made up, if you're having favors, guest book or any other fun elements, having them all completed and ready to go. You do not, I repeat, do not, want to be dealing with these at the last minute as it detracts from your relaxing and pampering. Being a relaxed bride and groom will make all the difference on the actual wedding day.

This post was originally published on July 1st, 2009

Fabulous Friday: Holidays Already?

Has anyone else noticed that there are Christmas displays already out in stores? Its October people! Halloween hasn't even happened yet! Speaking of which, any good costume ideas floating around?

McDonald's in Japan has started offering 'wedding packages' to couples ... yay or nay? Oddly, I am intrigued and slightly disturbed by this concept.

I've got a few ideas ruminating and I'd love your opinion: would you prefer wedding planning advice that is honest and realistic or wedding planning advice that is sugarcoated and unrealistic?

Happy Weekend!

A Must Do For Wedding Planning

You've been on such a productive and awesome roll getting venues and vendors lined up, doing research on fantastic design, its time to take a break everything wedding related. The key to stress free wedding planning is to make sure that you take breaks and timeouts along the way. Don't worry about things not getting done on time ~ they will. Everything will come together as you've imagined and your wedding day will be incredible. But, if you don't stop to smell the proverbial roses along the way, by the time you get to the wedding day, you'll be wedding'd out and we don't want that at all.

Make sure during your planning process that you and your soon to be are spending time together and NOT talking about the wedding. Make sure you get some relaxing and fun beauty treatments, go and take some exhilarating exercise classes and spend time with your gals NOT discussing the bridesmaids' shoes/hair/accessories. Make sure you tell your parents that certain nights/weekends whatever are designated wedding free so they know that its not the time to discuss whether or not some long lost uncle gets to bring a date. By giving yourself some breathing room from the wedding planning, you're ensuring that you will have a relaxed approach to the entire day and process.







(courtesy of Grand Hyatt & Tap Natural Remedies)

This post was originally published on June 15th, 2009

Update from the Life Coach

It's been just over a month since I began working with my awesome nutritionist / life coach extraordinaire. I've made some helpful changes to my life in general that will have a positive affect on my food habits as well. A few of the changes I've made are beyond applicable to weddings, so I wanted to share them:

Put yourself first: Do nice things for yourself to celebrate you. Get a mani / pedi, take a bath, take a walk, indulge in a chocolate, just make sure that every day, you do something nice for you.

Slow down when you are eating: When we are rushed, we inhale food just so "we've had something to eat" and its kind of pointless. Coach had me read "The Slow Down Diet" and let me tell you, this book is an eye opener. When you stop to truly enjoy and savor your meal, your body takes notice and utilizes all the nutrition. If you inhale your food, your body doesn't recognize anything. Read this book and slow down at meals!

Work out consistently: before I started my company, I was a workout-a-holic. Its been depressing to say the least to think that I've been so neglectful of the gym for so long, but Coach made me realize that by going to the gym daily or doing some form of exercise daily, it will make me 100x more productive throughout the day. As Nike says, Just Do It.

What changes have you made that are positive?

Assistants Perspective: Two Weeks Before The Wedding Day

I am a packing procrastinator, the person that is still be packing moments before I have to leave for the airport. Don’t do this on your wedding day! You want to be relaxed and know that you have double and triple checked that you have everything you need for the big day. By packing ahead of time you will have it out of the way and be able to enjoy those last few days as a bride.

For your Wedding Day:
Organize all the items you need for your ceremony and reception and label them. This way the venue, wedding planner, friend, or even you don’t have to shuffle through the items and try to figure out what programs go into what basket. Have a copy of your vows and readings printed on index cards just in case someone forgets them.

Ask your venue if you can drop off all reception items off the day before, items such as Menus, favors, escort cards, signage, cake knife, etc.

Gather your dress, undergarments, shoes, jewelry, and headpiece and put them all together in a closet for safekeeping so the morning of it will all be in one place, ready to be worn!

Wedding Day Emergency Kit:
Prepare an “emergency” bag with essentials you may need. Pack items like an extra pair of shoes, make up bag, double sided tape, safety pins, breath mints, tissues, small first aid kit, deodorant, stain remover wipes, snacks, medications, if you are curling your hair, pack a curling iron in case you hair needs a little touch up.

Honeymoon:
We are leaving the morning after our wedding for our honeymoon which means everything must be ready to go! Even if you aren’t leaving right away it is important to at least create a packing list and throw a few of the essential items you know you need to take into an open suitcase. Make sure you have all the medications you need, travel documents, and cosmetics. You may think that you can pick something up at the local drugstore, but keep in mind the location you are visiting, the brands and items may differ from here.

Happy Packing!

Weddings = Family Drama

Chances are, once you got engaged, you've begun to see different emotions come out of various family members. Happiness, excitement, bossy-ness, aggression ~ I haven't quite figured out why a wedding, the union between two people makes family members {ok, mainly mom} behave in different ways, but they do.

Regardless of how your family is behaving know these two things: their thoughts aren't your thoughts, you aren't beholden to doing things their way or taking them up on their every desire and this isn't their wedding, its yours. While its beyond easy to get sucked into whatever emotions they are having - don't let yourself. This is your special day and it really doesn't matter if Aunt Suzy thinks that you should do x, y and z at the wedding. This wedding day is about you and your soon to be. It isn't about anyone else.

While I know its easier said than done, I promise, you'll have a much more zen like wedding planning experience if you can just shut out the white noise.

First Impressions

If you think about it, our entire lives are filled with 1000s of First Impressions - meeting new people, going to new cities and places, going into a store you've never been to before ... we experience a first impression frequently. And what do we do with these first impressions? We made an immediate reaction to them, a judgement if you will. This reaction can play a huge part in how we emotionally view this person, place, store, interaction. It will influence how we perceive things and how we ultimately decide we feel about things.

So how does a first impression work in weddings? I've found that its a huge influencer when it comes to engaged couples making very important decisions for their wedding day. If when meeting a vendor for the first time, the vendor is rude, unfriendly, uncaring or generally rubs the potential clients in the wrong way, there is a slim possibility that these potential clients will become contracted clients. But, sometimes its the potential clients initial judgements and then their first impressions that steer them away from a wedding vendor who they should be working with - and to me, that is just sad. Let me explain: you cruise around websites looking for potential wedding vendors to work with and to bring your wedding vision to life. Here is one first impression that allows you to create a snap judgement. Either the website / the images / the words / the blog whatever it is, you either feel drawn to or you dismiss it. {We all do this!} If you feel like this wedding vendor fits your style and aesthetic, you reach out to them for a meeting. When you arrive at the meeting, you make another first impression since you are now meeting this person in the flesh and you either confirm that your original first impression was spot on or you overturn it. Obviously, everyone prefers when your initial impression equals your meeting impression and the vendor is a match, but sometimes it doesn't go that way.

So what to do then? Think through your decision - why doesn't this vendor in real life match online? Is their branding off? Did you have a certain image of them and they didn't fit it? Basically, you need to figure out if your impression was valid {online claims lux service but the person arrives looking worse for wear and is clearly not lux} or did you make an unfair snap judgement?

Has there been a time when your online impression with someone and your in life interaction didn't add up?

Hiring a Wedding Planner {Part 9}

Now you've had your consultation, received the proposal and ultimately you have to decide if you want to work with this person or not. Is this someone who are you are going to be beyond excited to meet with? Is this someone who you value and respect their opinion, advice, honesty and experience? Is this someone who you are confident will bring your wedding day to life in a manner that fits your vision?

In the best of all worlds, you'd meet, you'd love each other and you'd love the package. You'd work together, have a fabulous experience and the wedding day would be awesome. Not all relationships are fairy tales unfortunately, so spend a moment weighing the value of their services and your needs. If there's an ounce of doubt, perhaps this person isn't for you. If there isn't any doubt, move forward with them!

Keep in mind that this wedding planner or any wedding vendor for instance, may be receiving inquiries for your same wedding date, so it's only common courtesy to give them an answer {yay or nay} within one to two weeks of your meeting / receiving your proposal. Even if you do not want to work with them ~ let them know.

Next week: that's a wrap on this series + other morsels of info!

Hiring a Wedding Planner {Part 8A}

Yesterday we discussed receiving a proposal from a wedding vendor {in a timely fashion} ... today I wanted to flip the coin on its side and discuss what to do when a wedding vendor hasn't gotten you a proposal in a timely fashion ...

You had the consultation and hopefully sometime during that meeting there was discussion of when to expect the proposal. Now, let's say that due date has passed by and still no proposal ... as a client service provider that's one of the biggest pet peeves of mine! Deliver your deliverables! In my experience in working with clients, the longer time has passed between the meeting and the eventual proposal arriving, the positive impression has likely begun to wane. If you were truly interested in working with this vendor, call or email and ask when to expect the proposal. Stress that you had a great meeting and you're interested in seeing a proposal. If the wedding vendor has any brains, they'll get you a proposal faster than you can say "bridezilla", if they don't hurry it up, then you have to decide if you should wait for them or move on.

Anyone who has ever met me can probably answer what my decision would be, but this is a decision that the bride and the groom need to make. Does this person seem like they are going to deliver once you've finally gotten the ever-delayed proposal? Are you willing to take that risk with your wedding day?

So I propose this to you dear reader: Would you proceed with a wedding vendor if they took weeks and weeks to get you a proposal?

Hiring a Wedding Planner {Part 6}

Now that you've gotten a consultation on the calendar ~ what to expect once you're finally at the meeting? Firstly, aim to be on time OR call / email the wedding planner if you are running late. Keep in mind that while this is a client service industry, everyone has a schedule and would like to stay on track.

Once you've gotten to the meeting, don't judge a book by its cover. I know that our society has taught us to write off people immediately if you don't like how they look / act / talk etc but seriously, don't be so judgemental! You aren't hiring this person because of the way they dress, talk, act, you are hiring them because they are damn good at what they do. So, please, keep an open mind.

During the course of the meeting, be prepared to answer the questions the wedding planner asks you. They are looking to get a sense of not only what your wedding vision is, but who you are a couple as well as trying to assess if they want to work with you {disclaimer: not every planner is the right planner for every couple}. This is a two way interview, so aim to present yourself in a positive light.

When the planner is telling you about their services and how they help in the wedding planning process ~ jump in with questions if you need clarity ~ we want you to fully understand what we offer and how we operate so that there are no surprises throughout this process.

What you don't want to keep doing is wondering what the cost is. Cost comes through understanding the value of the service that this person provides. {Make that your mantra!}

At the end of your meeting ~ ask what the next steps are ~ will the wedding planner send you a proposal? Do they give you a copy of references and a contract and any other items you should read? Basically, get an understanding of what happens next in the process.

Next week: Consultation de-brief

Catch up on Parts I, II, III, IV and V

What Is Your Version of Luxury?

Almost a year ago, I posted about what your definition of luxury is and how you apply it to your wedding - I wanted to re-introduce this topic since during most wedding planning experiences ... its the little luxuries that get overlooked - and that is just simply inexcusable!

To you, what does luxury mean, especially when it comes to planning your wedding? Is it the luxury of having an amazing photographer there to capture all the details of the wedding day? Is it the luxury of creating an incredible experience for your guests? Is it the luxury of wearing a gown that makes you feel and look gorgeous? What luxury are you including in your wedding day? Is it something as simple as going to a spa the week of your wedding to relax? Is it spending time with out of town guests?

Its so easy during the wedding planning process to lose sight of the little luxuries in life especially when you've got lots of decisions to make and budgets to worry about. For your own mental health, please stop to let the luxury in, it may just be the saving grace for you.

What does your version of luxury look like?

Let It Rain or Rain Rain Go Away?

Weather and Weddings - can either be a great duo or the uninvited guest that no one wants to see. So what's a bride to do? Firstly, we can't control the weather. I'd love to have that power but unfortunately the weather and nature are uncontrollable. Secondly, knowing that we can't control the weather - be willing to accept that Plan B may come into effect especially if any portion of your wedding day is being held outside. I know that no bride wants Plan B to become Plan A, but there is always the possibility and you have to be willing to move forward with an alternate plan - and not get upset about it. Concentrate more on the fact that you are getting married, not that its raining and your vision of an outdoor ceremony is gone.

A little rain is an inconvenience, but its not the end all be all to your wedding day. While you can start obsessively checking the weather 10 days before the wedding day, its only the forecast 2-3 days out that is going to be more accurate, remember that meteorology is the only profession where you can be wrong 50% + of the time and still be employed so your wedding day forecast is bound to change multiple times before your actual wedding day!

'Tis the Season ... To Take a Breather

While wedding season is in full force, I too sometimes need to take a step back and catch my breath before I get consumed - as a bride planning your wedding, you need to do the same - especially as you get closer to the wedding date and things begin to feel chaotic. I am a firm believer in getting things accomplished earlier rather than later because being able to concentrate on relaxing just seems so much more fun than running around like a lunatic the week before the wedding - right?

So please, take a break. Stop and smell the roses, catch up with friends and don't talk about the wedding. Hit up the spa, enjoy the great outdoors or indulge in whatever guilty pleasures you have {perhaps its reading tabloids?!} - just keep in mind that stepping back and relaxing is beneficial to your wedding planning and ultimately to your wedding day.

What do you do to relax?

Hiring a Wedding Planner {Part 1}

As a wedding planner and a wedding blogger, my main goal is to educate engaged couples about wedding planning. To educate them on all the in's and out's of weddings and all the nuances of planning them. It's also a slightly selfish goal, because an educated bride and groom makes the wedding planning process go more smoothly!

For the next few weeks {on Wednesdays}, the posts are going to be focused on hiring a wedding planner: the nitty gritty of the how / why / when / what to expect / how to act ... the everything. We're going in depth on this topic and I hope that we'll all be a little bit more educated at the end of it.

So, first things first. What is a wedding planner and why do you think you need one?

A wedding planner {aka wedding coordinator} is a person who plans / coordinates your wedding. They pull together the logisitcs for your wedding day to ensure that no small detail is left out. As I call it: a wedding planner is your human equivalent to an insurance policy for the wedding - we make sure you've gotten all your ducks lined up and we make sure your ducks have no issues. A wedding planner is different to a wedding designer, so please make sure of which kind you'd like {naturally a planner can also be a designer and a designer can also be a planner} but for arguement's sake, we will keep them separate. A wedding designer is just that: they design the wedding. They are the visual creators of the wedding day - designing all the decor.

Why do you think you need a wedding planner? This is a question that oft goes overlooked because its 'trendy' to have a planner so everyone wants / needs to have one. If you are busy, indecisive, don't know where to start, don't know what you want to spend on each vendor, not creative, or want a helping hand in general, HIRE A WEDDING PLANNER! Your wedding planner will give you a path to follow throughout this process, negotiate contracts, educate you on every aspect of a wedding {pricing, advice, ideas, etiquette} and will give you the honest truth on what works and what doesn't work. In essence: your wedding planner is a one stop shop on how to get your wedding planned without the hassles. Who wouldn't want a professional team mate?

So before you start looking for a wedding planner, spend a moment writing why exactly you need one. Those needs are very important and will need to be communicated in your consultation.

Next week: Part 2: Researching a Wedding Planner

Tips on Tuesday: Letting Go Of Wedding Planning Anxiety

On our mini-vacay last week, I was able to read a ton of books that have been in my Kindle queue. In Getting Things Done, the following quote was included and I thought it was beyond appropriate for wedding planning:

"Anxiety is caused by a lack of control, organization, preparation and action" by David Kekich

Oh how this quote rings true for any wedding planning process. In my experience, brides, grooms and parents traditionally feel the anxiety and the weight of the wedding when they are unorganized and unprepared. Not everyone is a list maker, but when it comes to wedding planning, get yourself a dedicated notebook and invest in a generic wedding planning timeline {I love the Russell + Hazel templates}. Being organized throughout this process and being able to check off items will bring a sense of preparedness and will calm the nerves.

Wedding Planning is emotional and time consuming enough, why add anxiety to the mix? Especially when anxiety can easily be avoided if you work through your wedding planning in a consistent and organized way.

Tips on Tuesday: Take Break for Safety's Sake!

Its really easy to get all consumed by the wedding planning process you are going through. There are a million blogs, magazines and websites to gather ideas / images and advice from. There will always seem like there is something to be working on regarding the wedding: refining the guest list, going through the budget, pulling together DIY projects for your favors - the list goes on and on. At some point, your wedding will probably be the predominant topic of every conversation.

What you need to do is take a break from all the wedding planning. STOP reading everything on the internet about weddings and talk about something else. Catch up on your favorite TV shows, go to the gym because you want to be healthy not to fit into a dress, talk to your bridesmaids about their lives - do whatever it takes to not do a single thing related to the wedding.

Taking a break will actually help your wedding planning because being able to step away for a few days / weeks will give you clarity and will bring you back to the process with a fresh, clear mind. Relaxation throughout this process is key to not letting it drive you nuts.

So, if anyone asks why you suddenly aren't only talking about the wedding, you can tell them that I told you to take a break!

A Moment of Quiet in the Wedding Planning Storm

I've been writing so much these past few weeks about different aspects of wedding planning, I thought we all needed a little zen moment of calmness ... For me, the most serene I feel in life is when I am in my home country of South Africa - particularly in the wine lands of Franschhoek or on Safari. The simple beauty of nature always makes me feel relaxed and comfortably. There's something about being on safari and realizing that although we are humans at the top of the food chain, these animals are so much more powerful than we are that really makes me appreciate things.

Here are some images taken by my mother in law from our last trip to South Africa:

{typical African sunset}


{beautiful lavendar fields that surround the many vineyards}


{the ever changing Franschhoek Valley}


{on our drive into the Kruger game reserve - not even into the open lands yet and Rhino's!}


{leopard's are really quite incredible}


{this lionness was checking out a giraffe kill - amazing sight}


{dinner in the bush - so romantic}


{typical roadblock}


{relaxing before we stalked her through the bush}


{face off - the leopardess had already eaten so she wasn't interested in the water buffalo}


{dinner in a boma - a classic Zulu tradition}


{bath time}


{cheeky boy - he later stole the bread basket off our lunch table!}

Where do you feel most serene?

Business & Wedding Planning: Confidence In Your Wedding Planning Decisions

In Business, having confidence is key. If you believe in yourself and show it, its much easier to convince other people to believe in it as well. Having confidence in a job interview is also important because no one wants to hire someone who lacks confidence and conviction. At the end of the day - having confidence in your decisions, in business, is integral to getting the job done and doing it well.

So how does confidence and conviction translate into your wedding planning? Firstly, it'll help you stick to your decisions. If you waffle over something or keep changing your mind about choices or decisions - you've lost the confidence in that idea. You've lost the confidence to believe that that idea is appropriate for your wedding. And once that happens, your wedding planning starts to unravel. You start having doubts about the color scheme, location, menu, whatever it is. You can't move forward, you can't check things off the massive wedding timeline you've got in front of you and panic sets in. You start to panic that you'll never get everything done in time for the wedding, you panic that the wedding won't be the way you want it. You panic because you've lost your confidence.

So, how does one not lose their confidence? Be firm when you make decisions. At the beginning of this wedding planning process, decide on what is most important to you regarding the wedding day. Use the important ideas / thoughts / feelings to guide you in your decision making process. Then, use your budget as a guide so that you don't overspend, lose your confidence and then panic. Then stick to your guns. If you have confidence in your vendors, you won't have room to panic. If you have confidence in your decisions, you won't have time to panic.

Who wants to live with regrets after the wedding? Be confident and you won't have any!

Business & Wedding Planning: Interviews

We've all been through interviews. Some people are very good at talking about themselves in a positive and non-bragging way and they thrive in an interview setting. Some people get so nervous they aren't able to communicate how amazing they are and they flounder a bit in interviews. And some people just need interview training. But, its a fact of life, in order to get hired for just about any position, you must interview.

The same reality applies to your wedding planning process. You as a bride and a groom, must interview venues and vendors in an effort to find the best fit for the role they will play in your wedding. You can think of a vendors webpage as their resume - it showcases their 'objective', lists {via image and text} their accomplishments and their bio section is much like a cover letter. If you like everything you see on "paper" you contact them for a consultation {which really is a fancy way of saying Interview}.

Keep in mind though, that your consultation is a two way street {much like a job interview} just as you are assessing the vendors skill level, expertise, experience and what they can offer you, the vendor is also assessing you as a potential client. They are noting how easy or difficult they perceive you to be to work with. They are determining what role you want them to take on at your wedding - are you looking for someone passive or aggressive? Lastly, just as you are evaluating the fit of this vendor with you and your personality - they are doing just the same. Like wants to work with like - just as an employer does when looking for a potential employee.

And, like a post Interview must do - thank the vendor in a follow up email {or hand written note} thanking them for their time, the vendor should do the same. And, if you decide to work with someone else, notify the other vendors of your choice - its common courtesy.



{via ehow.com}