This post has been brewing in my head for a few weeks now. I've had numerous conversations with other wedding industry folks and even guests at weddings about this and I thought I should write down my thoughts.
It seems like more and more couples are forgetting about what is truly important on their wedding day. There is so much time and effort put into pulling inspiration boards from 1000 blogs to make sure that the table scape is just so, or making sure that there is an appropriate amount of alcohol at the wedding or that the welcome bags are just that much 'better' than so and so's were at their wedding; this mentality just breaks my heart. Couples are losing sight of the most fundamental aspect of the wedding day: the wedding ceremony. Let me remind you: without the ceremony, you wouldn't be having this over the top, lavish and expensive party.
Your wedding ceremony should be your number one priority on your wedding day. Spend time making sure that every element of your ceremony is truly reflective of the life that you are going to create together. Remember that the vows you declare to each other are important, they have vast meaning. Your pre-marital counselling is hugely important. Don't just shrug it off and not take it seriously. By getting married, you are making one of the biggest commitments of your life: this isn't an aspect of the wedding day where you should spend only 30 minutes thinking about. All too often I come across couples who are so pre-occupied by the reception that they've lost sight of what is actually important: their verbal commitment to each other for forever.
Please spend some time on your ceremony. The rest of the wedding day: cocktail hour, reception, after party is all gravy. Your wedding ceremony is the reason that you are having this fabulous celebration, otherwise you are really missing the point of the marriage and the wedding day.
Showing posts with label ceremony. Show all posts
Showing posts with label ceremony. Show all posts
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
To Rehearse or Not To Rehearse?
First, before anything gets written here, let's just mention that today is National Ice Cream Sandwich day. Go and eat one, its your civic duty!
Since I am a planner by nature, I am inclined to rehearse or at least do a walk through of most major milestones in my life. My inner perfectionist can't rest if I don't have a chance to practice. But, others prefer to just be organized and "wing it" so to speak.
So where does yours wedding fall on that spectrum? Are you definitely having a rehearsal so that everything runs smoothly with no surprises during your ceremony? Or are you sure that by telling people what to do, they will just do it and it will be smooth?
In my experience, the latter almost never happens since your words inevitably always get lost in translation from your lips to someone's ears. When you say move to the left of the officiant, they hear go stand in front of the officiant. Its uncanny, but every wedding I've done that doesn't have a rehearsal prior to the ceremony, things have not gone smoothly.
So here are some pros / cons to doing a rehearsal:
Pros: Not a guarantee for perfection, but pretty close. At least your bridal party will have a vague idea of what the space looks like and where they should go. Everyone will feel a bit more comfortable about the ceremony and what will be happening. If you make a 'mistake' during the rehearsal, it can be corrected - not so much during the ceremony itself.
Cons: Takes time. True, the rehearsal can take ages if people are late or the officiant is long winded or the bridal party is huge. Its a wedding ceremony, almost every single person you've ever met has been to one, so they get it, right? We're easy going people, we don't care what happens during the ceremony - its natural.
For all the cons, here's what a wedding planner will tell you: if you think you won't get upset that your bridesmaids all sat down when they were supposed to stand or that the groomsmen were in the wrong order - um, yes, you will. Those mistakes will be a facet of your wedding day that will stay with you. And for every wedding that your bridal party or ceremony participants have attended or been in - this is YOUR wedding ceremony. It may be .0000001% different to what everyone else has been to and that minute difference can mean the difference between a smooth ceremony and a not so smooth one. So please, build a rehearsal into your wedding weekend.
Are you planning or not planning on doing a rehearsal? What are your thoughts?
Since I am a planner by nature, I am inclined to rehearse or at least do a walk through of most major milestones in my life. My inner perfectionist can't rest if I don't have a chance to practice. But, others prefer to just be organized and "wing it" so to speak.
So where does yours wedding fall on that spectrum? Are you definitely having a rehearsal so that everything runs smoothly with no surprises during your ceremony? Or are you sure that by telling people what to do, they will just do it and it will be smooth?
In my experience, the latter almost never happens since your words inevitably always get lost in translation from your lips to someone's ears. When you say move to the left of the officiant, they hear go stand in front of the officiant. Its uncanny, but every wedding I've done that doesn't have a rehearsal prior to the ceremony, things have not gone smoothly.
So here are some pros / cons to doing a rehearsal:
Pros: Not a guarantee for perfection, but pretty close. At least your bridal party will have a vague idea of what the space looks like and where they should go. Everyone will feel a bit more comfortable about the ceremony and what will be happening. If you make a 'mistake' during the rehearsal, it can be corrected - not so much during the ceremony itself.
Cons: Takes time. True, the rehearsal can take ages if people are late or the officiant is long winded or the bridal party is huge. Its a wedding ceremony, almost every single person you've ever met has been to one, so they get it, right? We're easy going people, we don't care what happens during the ceremony - its natural.
For all the cons, here's what a wedding planner will tell you: if you think you won't get upset that your bridesmaids all sat down when they were supposed to stand or that the groomsmen were in the wrong order - um, yes, you will. Those mistakes will be a facet of your wedding day that will stay with you. And for every wedding that your bridal party or ceremony participants have attended or been in - this is YOUR wedding ceremony. It may be .0000001% different to what everyone else has been to and that minute difference can mean the difference between a smooth ceremony and a not so smooth one. So please, build a rehearsal into your wedding weekend.
Are you planning or not planning on doing a rehearsal? What are your thoughts?
Saturday, June 6, 2009
Day 6: Sophisticated, Elegant, Classy, Fun, Casual ... What's Your Wedding Style?
Day 6: 30 Days: A Guide to Stress Free Wedding Planning
Style is an individual experience. Your personal style and your soon to be's personal style may be similar and it may be very different. The one thing that is a definite though, is that you need to find YOUR wedding style. Something that captures and embodies what you want the wedding to be. Whether it is a traditional or modern feeling, a specific theme, something beachy, fun, city like or rustic and charming, spend time with your soon to be and put thought into your wedding style. Start by defining your personal couple style. Next, start to think about how you visualize the wedding day. What does the alter look like? How do you feel when you walk into the reception? What is the goal for the evening? Does the venue or area you've chosen elude to a specific style or theme? Once you've picked a style, start researching that style on blogs, in magazines and in life. Clip images of things you like. All this information will help your vendors enormously when it comes time to design the wedding day.
(courtesy of Martha Stewart Weddings)
Style is an individual experience. Your personal style and your soon to be's personal style may be similar and it may be very different. The one thing that is a definite though, is that you need to find YOUR wedding style. Something that captures and embodies what you want the wedding to be. Whether it is a traditional or modern feeling, a specific theme, something beachy, fun, city like or rustic and charming, spend time with your soon to be and put thought into your wedding style. Start by defining your personal couple style. Next, start to think about how you visualize the wedding day. What does the alter look like? How do you feel when you walk into the reception? What is the goal for the evening? Does the venue or area you've chosen elude to a specific style or theme? Once you've picked a style, start researching that style on blogs, in magazines and in life. Clip images of things you like. All this information will help your vendors enormously when it comes time to design the wedding day.
(courtesy of Martha Stewart Weddings)
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Pomp & Circumstance
For me, the most important aspect of a wedding is the ceremony. Its why you're doing all this wedding planning! No wedding ceremony = no wedding reception. The ceremony is the heart & soul of your wedding - its publically declaring "hey, i love this person". So, in the wake of a recent client discussion AND el economia ... it got me thinking.
Ceremonies these days are more spiritual, more about the couple and include more cultural traditions than ever. But, ceremonies are getting shorter and shorter ... they are more to the point it seems. Which begs the question - how much should you 'dress up' the ceremony? Floral arrangements for ceremonies are always beautiful and so elegant and tasteful, but, if you're guests are going to be at the ceremony for less than 30 minutes, do you really need to spend $1,000's on arrangements? This is where my practical side chimes in and says, No. Don't get me wrong. I am not saying forgo any florals at the ceremony - on the contrary - I am saying - do florals that are tasteful and economic, no one is around long enough to appreciate the time and effort that went into them. Stick to one or two dramatic arrangements - perhaps something to demarcate the alter area, or choose something fun to drape on the rows of seats. And, if you can reuse these florals at your reception, even better.
Point in case - I spent a loooong time figuring out our ceremony arrangements with our florist, and to be honest, I don't remember them at all. Its a shame, because I know they were beautiful. And, if I don't remember them as the bride, its doubtful your guests do.
Ceremonies these days are more spiritual, more about the couple and include more cultural traditions than ever. But, ceremonies are getting shorter and shorter ... they are more to the point it seems. Which begs the question - how much should you 'dress up' the ceremony? Floral arrangements for ceremonies are always beautiful and so elegant and tasteful, but, if you're guests are going to be at the ceremony for less than 30 minutes, do you really need to spend $1,000's on arrangements? This is where my practical side chimes in and says, No. Don't get me wrong. I am not saying forgo any florals at the ceremony - on the contrary - I am saying - do florals that are tasteful and economic, no one is around long enough to appreciate the time and effort that went into them. Stick to one or two dramatic arrangements - perhaps something to demarcate the alter area, or choose something fun to drape on the rows of seats. And, if you can reuse these florals at your reception, even better.
Point in case - I spent a loooong time figuring out our ceremony arrangements with our florist, and to be honest, I don't remember them at all. Its a shame, because I know they were beautiful. And, if I don't remember them as the bride, its doubtful your guests do.
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