Tips on Tuesday: Taking Back Control Of Your Wedding Budget

I've said over and over again on this blog that once you're engaged and you set a date, figure out your budget. I know, I am beginning to sound like a broken record BUT, there's a reason for it. A budget is going to help keep whomever is paying for the wedding out of debt and won't give them sleepless nights. Who wants to lose sleep over one of the best days in a persons life? Not me!

Once you set your budget {and be sure to give it a bit of cushioning for last minute necessities}, make an active effort to stay within your budget. Don't hire some fancy band because you love them and use a huge chunk of your budget - be mindful of your spending. Be realistic in your spending. If you think you've gone overboard, be prepared both mentally and emotionally to sit down and trim items off with each vendor. Your vendors want to work with you and be as helpful as possible but in order to bring the cost down, you have to let something go. You can't have it all for nothing, it just doesn't work that way. You must be okay with letting something go, if you are really passionate about having the budget not get blown out of proportion. I know its hard to trim, but in order to regain control of your budget, it must be done.

Tips on Tuesday: Your Wedding Vendor Is Not a Scapegoat

It's always so much easier to lay blame on someone else when you feel you've been wronged. And, every wedding publication will tell you that every wedding vendor is out to empty your bank account simply because you are getting married and therefore they have a right to charge you every penny you've ever collected. Well, the fact of the matter is that its simply not the case. No vendor I've ever come across has said to me "oh, I don't care what their budget is" - in fact, every vendor I work with or send a client to for a proposal has worked within their budget. So please, stop using your vendors as scapegoats when your budget gets stretched to the point of being unrecognizable.

Your vendor isn't out to rake your budget over the coals. Your vendors are working towards creating the most incredible wedding day for you. They want you to enjoy every aspect of the big day, not look at the flowers and cry because you spent six times what you wanted to. What good does a vendor get from doing that? Some vendors are fixed at what they must charge in order to survive - I know its hard to forget sometimes but vendors are people to. Vendors have to make a profit in business {just like any other retail store} or they won't exist anymore. Even a small business owner who works from home isn't taking your money and running out and buying Manolo's and going to St. Barth's - there are costs associated with running a business that need to paid in order to have a business.

I promise to get off my soapbox, but just keep in mind that you as the engaged couple need to manage your budget, not blame your vendors for when the spending gets out of control.

Tips on Tuesday: Don't Judge A Book By Its Covor

How many times have we all heard this: Don't Judge A Book By Its Cover? And how hard is it sometimes to look past the exterior to see how truly amazing that person is? I want you apply this 'rule' when it comes to meeting your vendors or seeing a venue. At first glance, you probably aren't getting the whole story, so don't judge a vendor's capability and expertise based on how they dress. How someone chooses to cloth themselves really has no baring on what their knowledge base is. Or, perhaps they chose to spend less on clothing and more on their business, their hobbies or their apartment. You have no idea what matters to them, so even if you think they are the worst dresser on the planet - don't chose to not work with them simply because you've deemed them incapable of putting together an outfit. Some of the most talented people I've come across in life aren't wearing haute couture daily.

{While this seems like a post out of left field - if you think about it, it has some merit. We all check each other out and make assumptions. Don't let someones exterior cloud your ability to see how incredibly gifted they are.}

Tips on Tuesday: You Can't Fake Fit

I talk alot about fit on my blog and with my clients. I've write about fit here and here - basically, for me, choosing your wedding vendors is all about fit. And fit doesn't mean a budgetary fit. Look, we are all working within a budget - so obviously you want to hire wedding vendors who fit into your budget, but more importantly - hire wedding vendors who FIT. Fit can mean several things: a personality fit, a vision fit, a likability fit, a talent fit etc. Fit comes in all shapes and sizes and to be honest, having fit with a vendor is much like having fit with a potential friend: you two either have it, or you don't. You can't fake fit.

Choose vendors who fit you and your budget, but just don't force the fit because you won't be happy with your choice.

Tips on Tuesday: Letting Go Of Wedding Planning Anxiety

On our mini-vacay last week, I was able to read a ton of books that have been in my Kindle queue. In Getting Things Done, the following quote was included and I thought it was beyond appropriate for wedding planning:

"Anxiety is caused by a lack of control, organization, preparation and action" by David Kekich

Oh how this quote rings true for any wedding planning process. In my experience, brides, grooms and parents traditionally feel the anxiety and the weight of the wedding when they are unorganized and unprepared. Not everyone is a list maker, but when it comes to wedding planning, get yourself a dedicated notebook and invest in a generic wedding planning timeline {I love the Russell + Hazel templates}. Being organized throughout this process and being able to check off items will bring a sense of preparedness and will calm the nerves.

Wedding Planning is emotional and time consuming enough, why add anxiety to the mix? Especially when anxiety can easily be avoided if you work through your wedding planning in a consistent and organized way.

Tips on Tuesday: Take Break for Safety's Sake!

Its really easy to get all consumed by the wedding planning process you are going through. There are a million blogs, magazines and websites to gather ideas / images and advice from. There will always seem like there is something to be working on regarding the wedding: refining the guest list, going through the budget, pulling together DIY projects for your favors - the list goes on and on. At some point, your wedding will probably be the predominant topic of every conversation.

What you need to do is take a break from all the wedding planning. STOP reading everything on the internet about weddings and talk about something else. Catch up on your favorite TV shows, go to the gym because you want to be healthy not to fit into a dress, talk to your bridesmaids about their lives - do whatever it takes to not do a single thing related to the wedding.

Taking a break will actually help your wedding planning because being able to step away for a few days / weeks will give you clarity and will bring you back to the process with a fresh, clear mind. Relaxation throughout this process is key to not letting it drive you nuts.

So, if anyone asks why you suddenly aren't only talking about the wedding, you can tell them that I told you to take a break!

Tips on Tuesday: Wedding Planning Does Not Equal Drama

You're engaged. You're planning your wedding. Why must you believe all the TV shows and blog posts that you must have drama surrounding your wedding? I am here to disspell the myth. In my experience, drama is created out of two things:

1. Family members providing too much advice, stress and frustration
2. You're pressed for time and don't feel like the wedding will come together

To both of things I say: PLAN EARLY and DON'T LISTEN TO THE WHITE NOISE. Family members are excited, nervous, and scared regarding your wedding. Perhaps you're the first to get married therefore this process is entirely new to everyone. Which means, there is a learning curve and as the engaged, you need to educate you parents, his parents, anyone involved in the planning or finances of the wedding about your wedding planning process and what you want. Its your day, right? Not your mother's, father's or anyone else's. You are walking down the aisle, you are exchanging vows, you are signing a marriage license. Not anyone else, so why listen to all the drama that they are creating for you?

If you've procrastinated or fallen behind on a few items on your wedding planning checklist - do not panic. Panic equals drama. Simply re-organize with your fiancee, and pick up where you left off. I promise, it will all come together in advance of the wedding. Don't overextend yourself or lose site of the point of the wedding day: you are getting married. Having amazing DIY favors is not important. Your guests will still love you.

So the tip of the day is simple: white noise, drama and panic out, rational thinking and calmness in.

Tips on Tuesday: Scheduling Appointments in a Timely Fashion

Firstly: vendors, like everyone else are busy. They are working on multiple events at a given time and most vendors work their schedule in a first come, first served manner. Which means that when you are scheduling a meeting with them - be quick to respond and quick to confirm a meeting.

In an industry where everyone's calendars get booked out years in advance {no, seriously, they do}, most vendors have a very good idea of what their schedule looks like months in advance {side note: it also means that their family has to plan in advance as well if they want said vendor to be at said family affair}, so there's no need to think its strange to make appointments months in advance.

On the flip side, if you have to cancel an appointment, do so when you first realize you need to cancel. Have a legitimate reason {not, I'd rather be having dinner with my friends} and give them some additional dates that work to re-schedule. No one likes to be stood up at the last minute.