You Can Negotiate With Caterers

Depending on the type of venue you have chosen, you may need to find a caterer for your wedding. If that is the case, also keep in mind that no costs are fixed. A good catering company will be willing to give you multiple options in food, beverages and pricing to try and work within your budget. Optimally meet with three caterers: you'll get a wide variety of menu choices and pricing. Then choose two that you would like to have a tasting with (always ask beforehand if there are charges for tastings). Once you've had your tastings, you'll be able to negotiate on a full stomach. Choose the elements most important to you: presentation, quality of food, inventiveness of food, whatever it is. Let the caterer know what you liked about the tasting/menu and what you didn't (perhaps nothing!). Ask where to trim to save. Perhaps you can change the style of dinner service which will free up some serving staff or if you know that your crowd just wants alcohol and doesn't care about top shelf drinks, perhaps moving away from pricier bottles is a smart move for you. Or ask if you bring in your own cake is there a cutting fee. Or, if you just do stations and nothing passed during the cocktail hour, how would that affect the overall price per head. Don't be afraid to think outside of the 'traditional' catering box, be adventurous!


(courtesy of cnib.ca)

This post was originally published on June 8th, 2009

The Game Plan on Wedding Vendor Negotiations

After all your hard work and research, you've picked a few venues that fit the bill for your wedding. Perhaps you've already narrowed it down to the most fantastic place for your wedding. How do you go about negotiating with the venue to ensure that you are getting the best pricing and deal for you? Firstly, ask. Even if its the most outrageous request in the world, just ask. The worst that can happen is the venue says no. If that happens, ask for something else. Aim to be reasonable though in your request (i.e. if its $195 per person for Food + Top Shelf open bar, don't say, our budget only allows for $50 per person. Rather, ask where you can trim off the menu + bar to bring costs down). Go into your negotiations with a game plan. What are your must haves (top shelf, lobster, outside cocktails, whatever it is) and work around your must haves with things you care less for (bathroom attendants etc). Once you've gotten a contract that you can live with, take time to read the contract that the venue provides (this is applicable to all vendors), the contract spells out the can do's and the cannot do's of the place and any other requirements that you must be aware of. You want to make sure you are comfortable with the venue's policies. If you don't understand any clause or term, just ask. I read contracts all the time and still ask lots of questions when I don't understand anything. You won't know until you ask. When you eventually sign the venue's contract, you want to be 100% aware of everything related to that location.



(courtesy of saweddingvenues.com)

This post was originally published on June 7th, 2009

Venue Visit: Wolffer Estate Vineyards

One of the perks of being a wedding planner is that you get to visit beautiful places that couples can get married, which isn't a bad perk at all! A week ago, Lisa Barr, a very dear friend invited me to spend an afternoon at Wolffer Estate out in Sagaponack {The Hamptons}, wine tasting, touring the vineyard and learning about the weddings that the vineyard puts on. Um, Lisa, darling, you had me at wine.

The vineyard has a lovely Tuscan feel to it, its architecture is very rich and Mediterranean. Wedding Ceremonies take place out amongst the vines and grapes at a sweet Gazebo. Dinner is served alfresco on a large porch. Dancing takes place in the Tasting Room. The space has a lovely relaxed feel to it, you can easily forget that you're only a two hour drive from Manhattan! {Sans traffic of course}.

If you are looking for a destination wedding spot that's close to home, check out Wolffer Estate Vineyards ~ you'll really feel like you've take a quick trip to Italy! They offer wedding packages and have a venue fee, and can accommodate all faiths. They have room for 175 people.


{via NY Post}


{via Cappy Hotchkiss}

And some celebrity signed wine barrels:

{via Lisa Barr}


{via Lisa Barr}

Venue: Crosby Street Hotel

I was really fortunate to attend a lovely lunch and then a private tour of the Crosby Street Hotel last week - what an oasis in the heart of Soho. Recently renovated and owned and operated by a British couple {who owns 6 hotels in London}; The Crosby Street Hotel is the epitome of style and chic boutiqueness. Each of the 86 rooms are personally designed and no two are alike! They also have 3 private rooms for rental - beautiful, elegant and each very different. Perfect for a rehearsal dinner or small soiree. There's also a large bar area and a 99 seat screening room ... imagine the possibilities for a fantastic evening!

PS: They do a sophisticated High Tea in the Crosby Street Bar and lunch their was amazing and scrumptious.








Simply Divine!

{all images via The Crosby Street Hotel website}

Blame it On The Rain

I will caveat this post by saying that I unintentionally got married in a Hurricane. While every summer there's always warnings that hurricanes can and do hit East Hampton, I think I was like 6 the last time one hit, so as you can imagine, not many people take the warnings that its hurricane season seriously. While the week prior to our wedding we did know that our tented affair was going to be a wet one, my husband and I didn't get upset. You can't control the weather, so why get upset? I think our vendors were surprised that we just went along with it. I didn't cry or scream, what can you do? Just go with it and have some fun.


{view from our tent with the rain}

If you do choose to get married outdoors - PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE have a solid rain contingency plan in place. While obviously your rain plain is going to pale in comparison to your amazing outdoor plan ... keep in mind that there's nothing you can do short of doing the anti - rain dance with your bridal party to entice the rain to shove off elsewhere. If you have to enact your rain plan - just go with it. Besides the fact that you picked it, make sure you are really 100% comfortable with having whatever aspect of your day there.

And, pretty please, keep in mind that no one has any control over the weather. Not even a meteorologist.


{courtesy of Sandor Welsh Photography}

Day 28: Finalizing Vendor Commitments

Days 28: 30 Days: A Guide to Stress Free Wedding Planning

You've hired all the necessary vendors, kept up with payment schedules for all of them, you've gotten everyone attired, your timeline is confirmed, all the details arranged ... what's left?

If you've hired a planner, this normally falls under their jurisdiction, but if not, you'll need to confirm all the details with your vendors. Keep in mind that if the number of attending guests has changed in any way, shape or form, you'll want to notify the caterer and the florist ASAP! You don't want to get charged for food or arrangements for people who aren't attending the soiree. Make sure you confirm guest numbers well in advance of the last possible day you're allowed to. {Traditionally two weeks prior for the Florist, and 3-7 days prior for the Caterer}

You'll want to confirm that your vendors have received the timeline, they have the correct directions to the venue, they know any policies related to load in / load out, and most importantly, who the point of contact is for the wedding day {so when they are stuck in traffic, they can call and assure you they are on the way}. You'll also want to confirm if you are legally obligated to feed them during the event {check your contracts!}, so you can give this number to the caterer {vendors should receive a meal that is not what your guests are being served and is substantially cheaper than the meal you've chosen for your guests}.

This is also the time to speak with your vendors about any other pertinent details of the day {must play / do not play lists, any photographs you must have etc}. Don't wait until the last minute to get these lists / details out to a vendor or think you'll remember on the wedding day. You'll have enough on your mind that day!

This is also the right time to communicate with your bridal party about their roles and responsibilities on the wedding day as well as their wedding weekend schedule. You'll want them to know what time to begin getting ready and where they will be getting ready as well as any details related to transportation. This is extremely important especially if they have a spouse / guest that is not in the bridal party, so that they know what is going on as well and can be organized. Also, if any member of the bridal party is traveling to the wedding, you'll want their travel details as well.

Day 7: The Art of Negotiation: Wedding Venues

Day 7: 30 Days: A Guide to Stress Free Wedding Planning

After all your hard work and research, you've picked a few venues that fit the bill for your wedding. Perhaps you've already narrowed it down to the most fantastic place for your wedding. How do you go about negotiating with the venue to ensure that you are getting the best pricing and deal for you? Firstly, ask. Even if its the most outrageous request in the world, just ask. The worst that can happen is the venue says no. If that happens, ask for something else. Aim to be reasonable though in your request (i.e. if its $195 per person for Food + Top Shelf open bar, don't say, our budget only allows for $50 per person. Rather, ask where you can trim off the menu + bar to bring costs down). Go into your negotiations with a game plan. What are your must haves (top shelf, lobster, outside cocktails, whatever it is) and work around your must haves with things you care less for (bathroom attendants etc). Once you've gotten a contract that you can live with, take time to read the contract that the venue provides (this is applicable to all vendors), the contract spells out the can do's and the cannot do's of the place and any other requirements that you must be aware of. You want to make sure you are comfortable with the venue's policies. If you don't understand any clause or term, just ask. I read contracts all the time and still ask lots of questions when I don't understand anything. You won't know until you ask. When you eventually sign the venue's contract, you want to be 100% aware of everything related to that location.



(courtesy of saweddingvenues.com)

Spring has Sprung ...

Well, its officially spring. At least by way of the calendar, not the temperature. I love spring mainly because it means that summer is almost here and because brides get more choices for flowers, colors, wearing a sleeveless dress isn't such a cold idea and most importantly because the days are longer and more venues just plain look better!

In the wake of the past few weeks (a wedding, which went well and I can't wait to see photos from), to an impromtu mini vacay with the husband and frenchies - we've got a lot going on and I can't wait to share it all with you! Exciting news coming in the new few weeks - stay tuned.

Now, back to some planning advice:

You've found the perfect venue - for whatever reason - the date is available, the space is incredible, you can hold your ceremony and reception there with minimal resetting, something about the place makes you feel wonderful ... but ... the cost is too high. I hear about this all the time - what should I do? Firstly, make a list of all the pro's and the con's (and the con list can't just be a single line item of: price). Ask for a copy of there contract - get into the nitty gritty. Perhaps they charge for elevator usage or overtime for break down and load out. Maybe they require you to pay for a bathroom attendent, or maybe, you get so many additional items included that the price is well worth it. Once you've got this list, start negotiating. (Personal secret - until I met my husband (the #1 negotiator in the world), I hardly negotiated. He taught me that practically everything is up for negotation - so true!) You want to show the venue that you're interested but don't let on that you're madly in love with the place, it gives them the leg up if you do. Ask if there is any way for a price reduction (feel free to name drop here: the present economy), or if we did away with certain elements having to do with caterering, or if you did everything earlier in the day ... by bringing specific items to the table instead of just demanding a price decrease, the venue may be more amenable. The worse they can say is no.

If you are unable to get a reduction in price, but have to have your wedding there, please do not start thinking "ok, now what do I have to give up?". We don't give up anything - we reshuffle our budget and place more importance on aspects that really matter, and find ways to spend less on aspects that aren't as important to you. Its all about compromise (and creative research!).

Real Weddings

This is a wedding we did in New York City at Tavern on the Green. The bride wanted to use lots of color and spring flowers to create a light and airy feel to the Rafters room. All of the florals came from Ariston, who really understood what the bride was trying to achieve and did a fantastic job! On this wintry, yuck day, enjoy the images of spring!

(photo credits Brett Matthews Photography)

Real Weddings

This is a wedding that took place this past Fall in the Heart of New York City. The ceremony and reception were at Bryant Park Grill. I absolutely loved this couple, they were so sweet, so in love and so amazing to work with! They worked with their florist, Gardens Bloom to come up with a very romantic, ethereal look for the evening, using lots of tealights, orchids and candles, which gave the room a very beautiful ambiance. Their photographer is none other than Spencer from 5West Studios, who never ceases to floor me with his incredible images. Enjoy!

(images courtesy of 5West Studios)

Can we have an open flame?

When visiting venues, feel free to ask any question you like. Don't hold back. Remember, this will be your space for your wedding and you absolutely can ask how many toilets there are for each gender or how they have handled unruly guests in the past. When you walk into the venue, try and picture what your guests will see and feel. Do you like the entry way? Is it easily accessible by young and old? Ask where coat check happens and where escort cards will go. You want to get a good enough verbal description that while you are standing in the space, you can picture what your wedding day will look like when the area is all set up.

As I said, any question goes, so ask it. Be sure to ask if there is a bridal suite, what size tables they have, what the linen and cutlery options are, where bars get placed, how the waiters operate when serving. Also, remember to ask if open flame is allowed, what vendors you can bring in for florals/decor/entertainment/photography etc - do they have a preferred list or can you use anyone? How does the menu work - make sure you fully understand what your options are, and how your choices affect the price point. Get everything in writing - the price per head, any usage or site fees, taxes, gratuity, extras.

Lastly, the most important thing to ask is if they are flexible on pricing. If you fall in love with a space but its a tad outta reach, say that you love it, but you were hoping to spend XXX instead of YYY and see what they can offer you. I'd say that most venues are willing to bend a bit to accommodate you, at the end of the day, they would rather have a happy bride and groom than none at all!

Happy Planning!
-Lisa

Checking things off the list ...

On the big list of "things to do" in order to plan your wedding, you've been on quite a roll so far ...

Proposal - check
Created a budget - check
Started working on a guest list - check
Chosen a location for the wedding - check
Defined your wedding style - check

What's next?

Start looking into venues and then vendors. Decide where in your budget you want to spend more money - food, entertainment, decor, lighting, transportation, any aspect of the reception - its up to you to choose where a larger portion of your budget should go, based on what is important to you as a couple.

Decide if you want to hire a wedding planner. A planner can be a great resource for cost cutting ideas, help with pulling together the design for the wedding day, aid with all the logistics, and most importantly for relieving stress from you. Most planners offer a range of packages from Full Planning to Day Of services. If you opt to go the planner route, decide which package will suit your needs the best.

Start looking at stationary (Save the Dates, invites, other paper goods) and meeting with different stationers. If your guests are going to be traveling in for the wedding weekend, its best to send a Save the Date out roughly nine months before the wedding to give them a heads up and to start making their travel plans.

Amass a big collection of wedding related materials - magazines, blogs, images and file them away. Everything you see should serve as a source of inspiration for each element of the wedding day. Start looking at various wedding gowns and go try a few on! You'll never know what looks the most amazing if you don't try it on!

Lastly, relax. Be proud of the things you have accomplished so far. Since its the holidays, take some time to just enjoy the holidays!

Happy Planning!
-Lisa

PS - I am off on vacation this afternoon, and will be posting when I have regular access to the Internet. Hopefully it'll be everyday, but in Africa, you never know!

Where should we get hitched?

Perhaps you've known for ages where you would like to get married. Your hometown? His hometown? A family home somewhere? The city you met in and fell in love in? A vacation spot you had a lot of fun in or some place you've always wanted to go. Regardless of the significance of the place you decide to get married in, narrowing down the choice can be a hard one.

Here are three factors to consider on behalf of your guests:

1) How convenient is it for you and your guests to get there? Does it require a ton of travel by plane, car or train? Is there a large airport nearby or will your guests have to traverse small watercraft and ferries to get there?

2) Is there affordable, nice lodging available? While some guests won't mind paying a lot for a hotel, some guests might not have the resources for the same place. Make sure that there are different budget options.
(As a side note, for my wedding in East Hampton, we made suggestions from low to high end on our wedding website and then let guests choose on their own. Since there wasn't a large hotel or chain hotel (for a room block) we had guests staying at 20 different locations, which made delivering gift baskets a complete nightmare ... keep this in mind!)

3) Are there fun activities for your guests to do during the weekend while they aren't at the wedding itself? As wedding weekends have become more like a mini getaway for guests, providing a list of activities in the area (i.e. shopping, sports, beaches, sightseeing etc) is extremely helpful - especially if they haven't been there before.

Just as much as the wedding is for the bride and groom, consider these factors for your guests when choosing a location!

Tomorrow I will mention my tidbits for defining your wedding style ... stay tuned!

Happy Planning!
-Lisa