Tuesday, June 8, 2010

The Importance of Pre-Marital Counseling

I watched a somewhat disturbing show on MTV yesterday while making dinner and it got me thinking about the need for pre-marital discussions that you must have with your soon to be spouse. The show also confirmed that I am far too old to be watching MTV, but that is an entirely different matter!

The premise of the show was following two couples as they lead up to their wedding and then their early newlywed life. Neither of the couples had lived together prior to the wedding day - that aspect of pre-marital-ness is less important to me it was the fact that neither couple discussed children, finances or employment before getting married! WHAT? In this 21st century, people aren't having these important conversations before they become a family? Its like buying a house without doing the inspection - you wouldn't have a clue as to what 'condition' you're getting the house.

I hear often that couples don't want to waste the time to do pre-marital counseling with their officiants - why? You don't want to take the time to invest in your marriage and your future with this person that you devoting your life to? Pre-martial counseling isn't like therapy where you lie on a couch and discuss feelings - its where you converse about the nitty-gritty. Its where you talk about how you view the role of a mother and the role of a father, what your financial affairs look like {who wants to find out their spouse has tons of debt after the wedding?}, how you view each other's career, what you expect from your spouse. These are seriously important topics to discuss that I can bet you won't be talking about over dinner one night.

So please, just like you are investing all this time, energy and effort into making sure you have the best wedding day - please take the time, energy and effort to invest in your marriage. Its importan, remember the wedding day is one day, the marriage is for life.

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