Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Wediquette: The Forgetful Gift Givers

My fiance and I were married last weekend and we had 10 guests give us nothing, not even a card. I know gifts aren't necessary but they could have at least picked up a 99 cent card! My fiance and I paid for everything ourselves. Our guests were served a sit down meal and had top shelf open bar all night. Several of the guests that didn't give a gift have since called us to let us know it was the nicest wedding they have ever been to, do I send them a thank you card? Thanking them for attending?

Firstly, don't invite guests simply to get a gift from them. Invite guests because you want them to witness your vows and your becoming man and wife - which to me at least, is much more meaningful than a gift. Yes, a gift or some token of appreciation is expected but its not a requirement for attending your wedding. The general rule of thumb is that guests have from the time you get engaged through to your first anniversary to purchase you a gift {Emily Post disagrees and says you have until three months after the wedding - most people prefer the one year rule}. That is a long time for people to forget, especially with their daily lives occurring at the same time. While one hopes that a guests manners aren't so crass; these things happen and instead of whining about how so and so failed to give you a gift even though you feed them and provided an open bar for five hours just move on with your married life. At the end of the day, experience and memories far outweigh the zebra print platter that someone gave you that now resides at the bottom of a cupboard never to be seen again.

If and when you do receive a gift, quickly write a thoughtful thank you note to the giver - just don't note that you had been waiting for it for ages!

{via Love To Know}

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