Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Wediquette: To Speak Or Not To Speak?

"Neither our Best Man nor our Maid of Honor are the speech-giving types, so we've told them they're off the hook for it, and they seem really relieved. None of our parents have asked about giving speeches (they're not really the type either) so they won't be speaking either. My fiance and I are planning to give a little "thank you all for being here and supporting us" speech, but that's it. I didn't think anyone would miss a million speeches, but now I'm wondering, though, if the occasion needs a little something like this. There's plenty of good speakers who aren't in any of the traditional roles, but I don't know how one really goes about asking someone to give a speech or a toast for them. Anyone else skipping most of the speeches? Do you think people will miss them?"

Since most of your guests have been to several weddings in their time, they are expecting some entertainment in the form of speeches - and if you have no one speak, it'll certainly be noticed by all in attendance.

A speech doesn't need to be lengthy, flowery, poetic or very deep. It should be genuine, from the heart and can be a simple "thank you, we love you" type of thing. If none of your bridal party or parents feel comfortable making a speech, I would advise finding someone close to both of you who is comfortable with public speaking. You don't need to make a big to do about who they are and why they are speaking, but having someone let your guests know their attendance is appreciated will be appreciated by your guests.

Personally, as for parents: they need to get over themselves and say something. It can be 30 seconds long, but it should happen. Otherwise, as the bride and the groom, you definitely need to speak especially if no one else is, or in lieu of the parents. Otherwise, it'll just be silence ... {obviously except for your music}.

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