2009 Wedding Lessons Learned: War of the Vendors

2009 Wedding Lessons Learned

Throughout your wedding planning, you've met with vendors, evaluated their services and products and ultimately gone into contract with whomever you feel will provide the best service for your wedding day. What you've probably not remembered to do is ensure that they can work with all the other vendors you've chosen. Now, should you have to do this? Most vendors and most couples take for granted that everyone in this industry can work together, right? Isn't the common goal for everyone involved very simple: bride and groom get married and have a blast, right? You'd hope so. You'd hope that your vendors are professional enough to work with anyone.

What if they can't be professional on your wedding day? Whats a gal to do? Firstly, it should become fairly apparent long before the wedding day that two vendors may not see eye to eye. When you and your coordinator have this realization, construct a strategy, then go discuss this with each vendor. The goal is to ensure that neither vendor wages war on the other on the wedding day. Firstly, waging war isn't very classy; secondly, its going to upset several people, and thirdly, it could have been avoided. Make it known to all parties who is IN CHARGE. {This should be your wedding coordinator, but sometimes vendors get different ideas on this topic ...} Whomever is in charge, should be the final decision maker. If the two war'ing vendors can't even speak to each other, use the coordinator as a buffer. Do everything in your power to make sure that A) Bride nor Groom nor Guest are subjected to the war and B) realize that you're being silly. If you can't get along, fine, but its one day, get over it.

I was the so called buffer at a wedding this year between two war'ing vendors {ironically, I could see both their points, but that is neither here nor there} who weren't able to put aside their differences at the wedding and just let it go. While their differences were dealt with privately, there was a ting of hostility between the two in the air the whole night. Not Cool. Had we all sat down and discussed, all the snide comments would have been thrown out the window, instead of plugged into my ear. While their tiff luckily didn't harm the wedding, it could have. The couple got lucky that I was able to intervene appropriately.

Be a lover and not a hater. If you think your vendors can't be civil, discuss this in advance with all interested parties!