2009 Wedding Lessons Learned: If the Wedding Tradition Doesn't Fit

2009 Wedding Lessons Learned

While there has been a definite shift from the weddings of years ago to the weddings of today, there are still basic pre-conceived notions of how a wedding should be. Everyone expects a Saturday affair, ceremony followed by cocktails followed by dinner and dancing. It's like we've all been trained to think one dimensionally when it comes to a wedding, so anything that doesn't follow that convention is met with apprehension and needs a lot of explaining. What I've come to love is that weddings do not need to be one dimensional or "normal"; in fact, its so much better if they aren't. If you choose not to do all the traditional aspects, its actually quite refreshing. Convincing your guests however, does take a bit of magic, but in every 'non-conventional' wedding I've worked or been a guest at, they always wind up being the best affairs, so trust me, it does always work out in the end.

I had the opportunity to work with a couple this year who were certainly breaking all the traditional wedding rules. They opted for a Sunday morning ceremony followed by a few hours break and then a late afternoon lunch. For them, the importance was getting married and the space they wanted could only accomodate them on a Sunday morning. The late afternoon lunch was perfect as they were able to reserve an entire restaurant and make the space work for them. While I am sure their wedding was met with resistance by fellow guests, the day flowed so nicely and it really was perfect for what they wanted. They didn't want the huge party, they wanted something small and intimate, which is exactly what they got.

So please, if there is some traditional aspect of weddings that isn't working for you - don't bend to make the tradition fit you, bend the tradition to fit you. At the end of the day, it's your wedding and you can do what you want!