2009 Wedding Lessons Learned
With all the inspiration and ideas floating around wedding blogs and wedding magazines, please keep in mind this: Not all inspiration is created equal and not all inspiration is appropriate for your wedding. If you are particularly crafty and have the time and effort, then by all means if you can fit the projects into your life, then go for it; but if you are really good at finding ideas but not executing them, then please, do yourself a favor and scrap the DIY bent. It won't work out for you on the wedding day.
If you choose to go the DIY route for some things on your wedding day - please be mindful that you need to fully prepare each project well in advance of the wedding day. What seems so simple to you to prepare, set up and execute may be a gargantuan task to someone else. If you've hired a wedding planner then be up front with them about all the DIY projects you want them to help with. Don't just skim over things or shove them under the carpet. If your wedding coordinator knows about these projects in advance, they can build their timeline and their staffing to ensure that everything happens as you want it to. But, if you fail to mention all of these "little" DIY projects then your coordinator will come ill-equipped to handle them and yes, your wedding will not be as you envisioned. Honesty is the best policy in this DIY case.
I was the unfortunate planner - victim at a wedding this year where at least 10+ DIY projects were not mentioned to me prior to the wedding day and yes, the wedding day did go off but with many hitches as I was understaffed and ill prepared to handle all of the tasks which meant that the wedding day did suffer. Try as I might, my staff and I cannot become superhuman if we aren't told about things in advance. While yes, I may have experience arranging flowers, do not assume that you can give your planner a bunch of materials and expect them to be able to whip up 20 centerpieces in an hour. Its just not going to turn out as you wished.
Therefore, DIY is a fabulous route if you've got the talent and wherewithal for it, but if you aren't a Martha Stewart wannabe, then it may be wise to leave the DIY at home.
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Monday, December 21, 2009
2009 Wedding Lessons Learned: If the Wedding Tradition Doesn't Fit
2009 Wedding Lessons Learned
While there has been a definite shift from the weddings of years ago to the weddings of today, there are still basic pre-conceived notions of how a wedding should be. Everyone expects a Saturday affair, ceremony followed by cocktails followed by dinner and dancing. It's like we've all been trained to think one dimensionally when it comes to a wedding, so anything that doesn't follow that convention is met with apprehension and needs a lot of explaining. What I've come to love is that weddings do not need to be one dimensional or "normal"; in fact, its so much better if they aren't. If you choose not to do all the traditional aspects, its actually quite refreshing. Convincing your guests however, does take a bit of magic, but in every 'non-conventional' wedding I've worked or been a guest at, they always wind up being the best affairs, so trust me, it does always work out in the end.
I had the opportunity to work with a couple this year who were certainly breaking all the traditional wedding rules. They opted for a Sunday morning ceremony followed by a few hours break and then a late afternoon lunch. For them, the importance was getting married and the space they wanted could only accomodate them on a Sunday morning. The late afternoon lunch was perfect as they were able to reserve an entire restaurant and make the space work for them. While I am sure their wedding was met with resistance by fellow guests, the day flowed so nicely and it really was perfect for what they wanted. They didn't want the huge party, they wanted something small and intimate, which is exactly what they got.
So please, if there is some traditional aspect of weddings that isn't working for you - don't bend to make the tradition fit you, bend the tradition to fit you. At the end of the day, it's your wedding and you can do what you want!
While there has been a definite shift from the weddings of years ago to the weddings of today, there are still basic pre-conceived notions of how a wedding should be. Everyone expects a Saturday affair, ceremony followed by cocktails followed by dinner and dancing. It's like we've all been trained to think one dimensionally when it comes to a wedding, so anything that doesn't follow that convention is met with apprehension and needs a lot of explaining. What I've come to love is that weddings do not need to be one dimensional or "normal"; in fact, its so much better if they aren't. If you choose not to do all the traditional aspects, its actually quite refreshing. Convincing your guests however, does take a bit of magic, but in every 'non-conventional' wedding I've worked or been a guest at, they always wind up being the best affairs, so trust me, it does always work out in the end.
I had the opportunity to work with a couple this year who were certainly breaking all the traditional wedding rules. They opted for a Sunday morning ceremony followed by a few hours break and then a late afternoon lunch. For them, the importance was getting married and the space they wanted could only accomodate them on a Sunday morning. The late afternoon lunch was perfect as they were able to reserve an entire restaurant and make the space work for them. While I am sure their wedding was met with resistance by fellow guests, the day flowed so nicely and it really was perfect for what they wanted. They didn't want the huge party, they wanted something small and intimate, which is exactly what they got.
So please, if there is some traditional aspect of weddings that isn't working for you - don't bend to make the tradition fit you, bend the tradition to fit you. At the end of the day, it's your wedding and you can do what you want!
Friday, December 18, 2009
Weekly Round Up: Fabulous Finds and Advice
Eeeck, Christmas is in a week! New Year's Eve is in two weeks. Seriously, where did the month of December go? The days keep whipping by and my to do list keeps getting longer, and there's still present shopping to be done.
Check out these fabulous finds and advice from around the web - Enjoy:
Just when I thought that Dana from Broke Ass Bride couldn't get any more fabulous, she redesigns her website and it is much more fabulous. If you want real life 'broke ass' wedding advice, her blog is an amazing resource.
Eco-Beautiful Weddings Magazine debuted this week and its simply delightful. Even if you aren't planning an eco-wedding, there are some amazing ideas and inspiration throughout. Enjoy!
Great little read on how hiring a planner is actually helpful to your budget - click here!
While I can see the beauty and artistry of tall arrangements, unless they are done to perfectly {which sadly isn't always the case}, tall arrangements to me are just cumbersome. The DC Ladies have posted a great article on why tall centerpieces are not the best route to go in your floral budget - click here to read it.
If you're in the NYC / NE area - we're getting snow! How exciting!
Check out these fabulous finds and advice from around the web - Enjoy:
Just when I thought that Dana from Broke Ass Bride couldn't get any more fabulous, she redesigns her website and it is much more fabulous. If you want real life 'broke ass' wedding advice, her blog is an amazing resource.
Eco-Beautiful Weddings Magazine debuted this week and its simply delightful. Even if you aren't planning an eco-wedding, there are some amazing ideas and inspiration throughout. Enjoy!
Great little read on how hiring a planner is actually helpful to your budget - click here!
While I can see the beauty and artistry of tall arrangements, unless they are done to perfectly {which sadly isn't always the case}, tall arrangements to me are just cumbersome. The DC Ladies have posted a great article on why tall centerpieces are not the best route to go in your floral budget - click here to read it.
If you're in the NYC / NE area - we're getting snow! How exciting!
Thursday, December 17, 2009
2009 Wedding Lessons Learned: Don't Sweat The Small Stuff
2009 Wedding Lessons Learned
From first hand experience, I can tell you that your wedding day will literally feel like it lasted for five minutes. All the months of planning and effort you've put into creating this lovely day will whip by in mere moments, so, I implore you: Don't sweat the little things. If something does or doesn't happen that you didn't plan for: just roll with it. The day is too short and too important to worry about little things that really in the grand scheme, mean nothing and are irrelevant. You don't want to look back at your wedding day with regret.
One of my brides could have easily gone down the stressed out road on her wedding day, when the transportation company failed to return to get the bridesmaids after dropping off the groomsmen at the church. I had gone over the details with the limo company repeatedly, but the driver chose not to cooperate. Instead of the bride getting upset and letting this setback ruin her moment, she simply said "Gals, get in a cab and get to Brooklyn" - she was so matter of fact and calm, it was refreshing. All that mattered to her was getting married and despite little obstacles popping up, she just went with it and created a plan B. She didn't let this hiccup ruin her day at all.
So please, I know its very easy to get wrapped up in the drama or the small issues, but really, they don't matter. What matters most is that its your wedding day.
From first hand experience, I can tell you that your wedding day will literally feel like it lasted for five minutes. All the months of planning and effort you've put into creating this lovely day will whip by in mere moments, so, I implore you: Don't sweat the little things. If something does or doesn't happen that you didn't plan for: just roll with it. The day is too short and too important to worry about little things that really in the grand scheme, mean nothing and are irrelevant. You don't want to look back at your wedding day with regret.
One of my brides could have easily gone down the stressed out road on her wedding day, when the transportation company failed to return to get the bridesmaids after dropping off the groomsmen at the church. I had gone over the details with the limo company repeatedly, but the driver chose not to cooperate. Instead of the bride getting upset and letting this setback ruin her moment, she simply said "Gals, get in a cab and get to Brooklyn" - she was so matter of fact and calm, it was refreshing. All that mattered to her was getting married and despite little obstacles popping up, she just went with it and created a plan B. She didn't let this hiccup ruin her day at all.
So please, I know its very easy to get wrapped up in the drama or the small issues, but really, they don't matter. What matters most is that its your wedding day.
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Turning One Year Older
Today is my birthday and while this isn't wedding related news by any stretch of the imagination, I wanted to share some personal goals with you as I am now one year closer to a very important big birthday!
I've decided that this next year in my life is going to be about becoming a healthier version of me. A Me 2.0 if you will. I've read an inordinate amount of literature this past year that has got me thinking about all that we consume and do to our bodies. There's some really scary stuff out there. I am a firm believer that how we treat ourselves affects what happens to us down the road, and I for one would rather be kinder to myself now so that years later, things aren't that bad. I'd rather spend the money now on organic items {though more pricey} than hefty hospital bills in 40 years.
Thus, I've decided that this year in my life I will be kinder to myself. Eat cleaner, exercise more, gain much more positivity and basically become a healthier in mind and body version of me. While I may slip up on occassion, I really want 80%+ of this next year in my life to be healthier and more positive.
I wanted to write this note so that you, the reader, would hold me accountable, share your healthy tips with me and travel down this journey with me. I'll be writing sporadically about healthy changes I've found to be beneficial because at the end of the day, we're all still students who want to learn and become better.
I've decided that this next year in my life is going to be about becoming a healthier version of me. A Me 2.0 if you will. I've read an inordinate amount of literature this past year that has got me thinking about all that we consume and do to our bodies. There's some really scary stuff out there. I am a firm believer that how we treat ourselves affects what happens to us down the road, and I for one would rather be kinder to myself now so that years later, things aren't that bad. I'd rather spend the money now on organic items {though more pricey} than hefty hospital bills in 40 years.
Thus, I've decided that this year in my life I will be kinder to myself. Eat cleaner, exercise more, gain much more positivity and basically become a healthier in mind and body version of me. While I may slip up on occassion, I really want 80%+ of this next year in my life to be healthier and more positive.
I wanted to write this note so that you, the reader, would hold me accountable, share your healthy tips with me and travel down this journey with me. I'll be writing sporadically about healthy changes I've found to be beneficial because at the end of the day, we're all still students who want to learn and become better.
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
2009 Wedding Lessons Learned: When Your Wedding Funding Disappears
2009 Wedding Lessons Learned
While I would hate for this scenario to happen to anyone, what if during the midst of your wedding planning, the money that you thought would pay for your big day disappeared. Either your parents or other contributors were now unable to give you money that you had been promised {for whatever reason} or you yourself were now unable to pay for the wedding that you have been planning. How would you react?
Unfortunately I had this occur to one of my couples and while it was a very big shock to their system, I was humbled by their reaction and I can only hope that others would react this way as well. Instead of crying, canceling the wedding or getting angry, they simply changed direction in their wedding planning process. They went back to all the contract vendors and explained the situation. Most were amenable to cancelling contracts {we were about 11 months out from the wedding at this point}.
The bride and groom sat down and thought about what was the most important aspects of the wedding: 1. Getting married & saying their vows 2. Being with their closest 24 people instead of their non-closest 150 people and 3. Not going broke over one day of their life. With those as their top three priorities, we started to plan their real wedding, one that was much more true to them. They chose their favorite local restaurant as the venue, decided to do a meaningful ceremony in a park 5 blocks from the restaurant and they whittled down their guest list to the people that truly meant something to them.
Their wedding day was one of the best that I have been a part of. The bride wanted no frou frou fluffiness on the day, so she didn't have any of that. They didn't do any traditions {first dance, parent dances etc} because they felt that those traditions weren't them. Their wedding day was about their love for each other and the group of people there. It was so refreshing to see that despite their wedding day taking a potential turn for the worse, it wound up being so much more meaningful. I applaud them for not letting a monetary setback impede their plans for getting married.
How have you taken a set back in your wedding planning and turned it into a positive?
While I would hate for this scenario to happen to anyone, what if during the midst of your wedding planning, the money that you thought would pay for your big day disappeared. Either your parents or other contributors were now unable to give you money that you had been promised {for whatever reason} or you yourself were now unable to pay for the wedding that you have been planning. How would you react?
Unfortunately I had this occur to one of my couples and while it was a very big shock to their system, I was humbled by their reaction and I can only hope that others would react this way as well. Instead of crying, canceling the wedding or getting angry, they simply changed direction in their wedding planning process. They went back to all the contract vendors and explained the situation. Most were amenable to cancelling contracts {we were about 11 months out from the wedding at this point}.
The bride and groom sat down and thought about what was the most important aspects of the wedding: 1. Getting married & saying their vows 2. Being with their closest 24 people instead of their non-closest 150 people and 3. Not going broke over one day of their life. With those as their top three priorities, we started to plan their real wedding, one that was much more true to them. They chose their favorite local restaurant as the venue, decided to do a meaningful ceremony in a park 5 blocks from the restaurant and they whittled down their guest list to the people that truly meant something to them.
Their wedding day was one of the best that I have been a part of. The bride wanted no frou frou fluffiness on the day, so she didn't have any of that. They didn't do any traditions {first dance, parent dances etc} because they felt that those traditions weren't them. Their wedding day was about their love for each other and the group of people there. It was so refreshing to see that despite their wedding day taking a potential turn for the worse, it wound up being so much more meaningful. I applaud them for not letting a monetary setback impede their plans for getting married.
How have you taken a set back in your wedding planning and turned it into a positive?
Monday, December 14, 2009
2009 Wedding Lessons Learned: When Your Wedding Budget Is Out of Control
2009 Wedding Lessons Learned
Regardless of what number your wedding budget is; you've put a budget in place to make sure that you don't start wildly spending here and there and start putting the person who foots the bill in future financial jeopardy. Remember that while the wedding day is a very important day in your life, its one day, while your marriage is forever.
In an ideal world, you'd find vendors that fit into your budget from the get go, rather than booking vendors that begin to stretch your budget, forcing you to start scrambling on where you can cut and delete to reign the spending in. When you are interviewing vendors and gathering ideas, keep in mind that regardless of what you plan for the day - your guests won't know what you spent on the day unless you tell them. So, if there is a way to bring costs down but still be classy: DO IT.
I had one such wedding this year - it was simply a divine affair, but they very much had a budget and they very much had to stick with it. But yet, throughout the planning, the spending started getting out of control and a month before the wedding we had to sit down and go through proposals and contracts and figure out what adjustments needed to be made so that they could actually afford the wedding day {I was the DOC for it}. It wasn't the most pleasant day in their wedding planning process simply because I had to be the non-emotional voice of reason aka "the bad guy" saying that this, this and this had to be cut and this, this and this had to be changed. At the end of our meeting, we had reigned in the spending but the stress of going back to vendors and re-negotiating contracts wasn't exactly what the bride and groom wanted to be doing during their final month of engagement. Had they not spent so freely when they were choosing vendors, they wouldn't have been put in the scramble position. Everything worked out for the wedding weekend - but free spending = more stress in the end. They also decided to cut some labor costs from certain vendors that were passed along to the waitstaff which wasn't appropriate - so please, if you've hired a florist, pay for them to do the arrangements - its a part of their job.
If you've got a budget, aim to stick to it and keep in mind - when you come up with the number - pad it a bit for last minute things!
Regardless of what number your wedding budget is; you've put a budget in place to make sure that you don't start wildly spending here and there and start putting the person who foots the bill in future financial jeopardy. Remember that while the wedding day is a very important day in your life, its one day, while your marriage is forever.
In an ideal world, you'd find vendors that fit into your budget from the get go, rather than booking vendors that begin to stretch your budget, forcing you to start scrambling on where you can cut and delete to reign the spending in. When you are interviewing vendors and gathering ideas, keep in mind that regardless of what you plan for the day - your guests won't know what you spent on the day unless you tell them. So, if there is a way to bring costs down but still be classy: DO IT.
I had one such wedding this year - it was simply a divine affair, but they very much had a budget and they very much had to stick with it. But yet, throughout the planning, the spending started getting out of control and a month before the wedding we had to sit down and go through proposals and contracts and figure out what adjustments needed to be made so that they could actually afford the wedding day {I was the DOC for it}. It wasn't the most pleasant day in their wedding planning process simply because I had to be the non-emotional voice of reason aka "the bad guy" saying that this, this and this had to be cut and this, this and this had to be changed. At the end of our meeting, we had reigned in the spending but the stress of going back to vendors and re-negotiating contracts wasn't exactly what the bride and groom wanted to be doing during their final month of engagement. Had they not spent so freely when they were choosing vendors, they wouldn't have been put in the scramble position. Everything worked out for the wedding weekend - but free spending = more stress in the end. They also decided to cut some labor costs from certain vendors that were passed along to the waitstaff which wasn't appropriate - so please, if you've hired a florist, pay for them to do the arrangements - its a part of their job.
If you've got a budget, aim to stick to it and keep in mind - when you come up with the number - pad it a bit for last minute things!
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